Reminiscing

I remember running out of my room in my dad's oversize shirt to see her new haircut. I remember thinking that she looked too different.

I remember hiding behind the wall as I could hear my great aunt bawling. I will never forget how she wailed and how terrifying it felt. I can still hear her resounding in my ear. "What about my sister?!"

I remember Braden and Bryson hid the ball in the boys bathroom at the pool. They didn't think we had the guts. I remember Hailey and I winning and laughing as we both decided that these were the boys we would marry. I remember remembering that moment the day that she died.

I remember how poor her family was. But that night they took us to see Hairspray for the last day of my visit. For the last day I would ever see her.

I remember sleeping on the balcony so I could catch the Easter Bunny. I remember being completely terrified.

I remember my favorite place on earth: 6715 Canter Glen Court Cumming GA 30040

I remember the night Lexi moved away. She gave me a yellow rose from the bouquet she won at her ice skating competition. I remember I slept with that rose and cried all night.

I remember grandma yelling at me because I picked all the raspberries. I remember zoning out and thinking about how awesome of a grandma my mom was going to make.

I remember the night I found out about his addictions. I kept obsessing over trying to tie my hair back with that stupid elastic.

I remember how Braden held my hand in the hot tub after not seeing him for years. Our siblings talked about how fun it will be to hold hands. 

I remember getting the talk. My parents took me to Outback Steakhouse and all I cared about was getting another IBC root beer. Now every time I have one, all I can think of is sex.

I wish I could forget that moment where you almost told me 'I love you' for the first time. But decided to save it for Valentines Day.

I remember that last hike with Papa. I was the only one who stayed with him. 

I remember his funeral. I remember feeling bad for being excited to ride in a limo for the first time.

I remember when Heath finally asked me to dance in 6th grade. It was to the song "You're Beautiful" we were both shaking and smiling for the first half, then he asked me what color my toothbrush was.

I remember when I squished my hamster. I remember looking up at the garbage can where my dad disposed of it frantically mumbling: "I'm sorry I'm sorry" over and over again. I remember not knowing what to do with the blood stained shoe that kept telling me I was a murderer.

I remember how Kayla always had braided pigtails with pink balls hanging from the elastics. And I still remember how we smiled at each other after getting in trouble for talking during nap time. I then closed my eyes and was confused as to why I had a different color of skin than my best friend.